A strange discussion
by La prtresse du chocolat
Summary: Robin is tired. When he met Harley Quinn on patrol the night takes an unexpected turn. NO PAIRING. cross posted on ao3.


A/N: just realized that I have an account here

So a little one shot that I already posted on ao3.

Please enjoy :)

*

That had been the first rule that Bruce taught him. They don't kill. Even if the situation seems desperate you have to be better, find a way to save everyone or at least one where you are the only casualty. When he had started as Robin that was easy enough to respect that rule. He hadn't killed his parent's murder, after all. But after all these years in the streets of Gotham patrolling, after all those innocent death that could have been avoided, sometimes it was hard to resist the urge to eliminate the reason of all those suffering.

How many times does he have to see the people he swore to protect get hurt by the same mad men again and again. He believed in redemption he really did. But some of them just… wasn't worth the effort anymore. He knew he wasn't the one that should make the call but he wouldn't lose sleep over killing one of Batman rogue.

Dick was tired. A common occurrence but one you never get used to. He was investigating a new organ traffic . He hated that, to see how far human could go just for the sake of money. He had come to the point where he rather deals with slave trades instead of this particular kind of traffic. At least they still had a chance to return the victim to their family instead of a dead mutilated body. And if they were quick enough the victim could still heal, restart their life and forget (they never did, but he would take the tiny sliver of hope over the glassy eyes of an eight years old girl dead body)

On top of that, he was in cold with Bruce. The Joker had escaped, again, and of course, Bruce hadn't left the cave since then. He knew he was being selfish and that the mission came before his own insecurities. But he still needed a father. One who will not forget his existence each time a psycho escape the stainer that supposed to be an asylum. Maybe one who will help him solve that stupid case so he didn't have to see another dozen of corpses for the third night in a row. As if that would ever happen. He better stop daydreaming and focus on the job at hand.

Despite all those years of training, he had never reached Bruce expectation. He tried to convince Bruce to just forget the Joker for a single night to help him save all those poor people. It's not like he would try anything that soon after escaping anyway. His case would be solved and he could join Bruce monitoring the clown, find nothing and in the end figuring out about Joker 's plan only once he came to execution.

But Bruce didn't deny acknowledge his presence when he asked. At this point, he so used to this kind of comportment that he couldn't mutter the force to be angry. Just sad. A few years ago he would have come to Alfred or one of the Titans, but not anymore. No point in bothering with his petty problems.

And here he was working alone, again, on a case that crushed his last hope in humanity the few shreds of naivety that remained from his childhood and let his heart numb. Trying to keep the cold facade in front of the GCPD agent. Because Robin wasn't allowed to show weakness, to puke or cry even if the smell of rotten corpse (that was often the smell that gives away those kinds of hospitals, even in Gotham) was so strong that he stuck to his costume days after. But the boy behind the mask just wanted to run away. With all those lives at stake, it was out of questions. So he pulled another all-night and hoped that everything would end soon.

*

He was following a lead when he met her. DR Harleen Quinzel in full costume fighting with some nobody and winning.

He cursed.

Of course with the Joker running free Harley was the principal lead to find his whereabouts. And even with some more pressing matters like saving lives, he couldn't just ignore her. Bruce would never forgive him. So he stopped. Assessed the situation before barging in. The villain was swinging her hammer against two lowlifes (he was able to identify them since they were part of Joker's henchmen) in a dark dead end like Gotham had by hundreds (literally, half of the street in Gotham was dead end, if he didn't know better he would have thought that the architects had done it on purpose)

The fight was over before he decided if he should interrupt or not. She was not trying to hurt them and with some luck, a beating would be enough to discourage them from pursuing those kinds of careers (according to their files that were unlikely). Compared with her boss Harley Quinn's kill count was low, not that she was not trying but Killing for the sake of killing was not part of her definition of fun. Alone she was less lethal than when she was blindly listening to her "pudding" order.

Still, Robin was on guard when he dropped behind her. she might not kill him on spot but she surely knew a thousand ways to hurt him that was definitely in her definition of fun.

"- little birdie! " she squealed with delight while turning to face him, her hammer following hazardously.

Her smile was as usual sickly wide and empty. Robin was surprised to not met the crazy eyes that completed the usual perfect psycho expression. They were sad still not completely sane but with the spark of life that usually missed. Now that he paid attention, her posture betrayed her exhaustion. but she wouldn't stop smiling.

"- Where is the Big Bad Bat? Did he not come to play? "

Right there were more pressing problems than worrying about Harley state of mind. She was crazy anyway a tad more or a tad less wasn't really relevant right now.

"-Where is Joker?" He growled like the perfect bat junior that he was (he was quite proud of that trick since that meant that his voice was low enough to don't sound ridiculous, one of the few things his puberty did right)

"- Why should I know?" She asked back.

Usually, he would have been patient. Bad guys don't really drop information like that. And even if he had grown more intimidating it was still not Robin place to instill fear among the criminals, and he hoped it would never come to be. He was supposed to be the good cop the last chance to redeem your fault instead of finishing in full body cast, compliment of the Bat.

But not tonight. Tonight Robin was tired and his patience had flown away. Robin needed a fucking clue about his case or a way to get Bruce out of his ass so he could go to sleep. He hadn't had time to deal with a capricious selfish woman.

So he attacked.

The fight was short but violent. Harley caught off guard was quickly overwhelmed by the quick kick of the angry teenager. Her back hit the concrete before she was able to land a single attack. But the Boy wonder didn't back away. He trapped her and attacked relentlessly, uncoordinated his usual grace absent. He looked desperate.

"-I DON'T KNOW!! I DON'T KNOW! PLEASE STOP! ROBIN STOP! YOU'RE HURTING YOURSELF! "

Indeed Robin glove was torn apart and his knuckles had started to bleed. In his fury, most of his attacks missed her face and landed in the concrete beneath them. She couldn't lower her guard to grab his wrist (she already had a broken nose judging by the blood that filled her mouth) and she wasn't willing to nurse a concussion for the next month). The only way she has to get through him was her voice and she doubted that he would listen.

"- Robin, please… "

No response.

He breath was coming short and if she didn't know better she would have sworn that she heard a sob. OK last chance

"- BATMAN! HELP" She shouted

That worked. He looked panicked at the rooftops around. Weird but she didn't have time to ponder on that. When he noticed her he quickly stood up.

"-Are you with me?" She asked her guard up in case he decided to attack her again.

"- What I've done? "

He seemed lost and horrified. Well, he better be. Thanks to him she would not be able to go outside without a pair of sunglasses and a scarf to hide her face (Sunglasses looked ridiculous in Gotham even in summer).

He took several steps back till his back hit the nearest wall. He seemed torn between his need to run away and his need to hide in shame. Oh boy, he looked miserable.

She didn't want to fight, not tonight. So with a placating gesture, she crossed the short distance to be next to him. There she slid down against the wall and sat in the dirt. Robin's eyes followed her during the entire process but he made no move or protest.

"- Rough night? "

Her question was met with silence. She didn't really expect an answer either. Not a lot of people trusted her to help them with their problems nowadays. She had lost that privilege when she had followed Joker.

"-You know you're becoming more and more like him "

Robin tensed

"-No, I'm not." He growled

Angry was not what she was aiming for but at least she got a reaction out of him.

"-Wow, calm down kid. I'm not in shape for a rematch. I 'm just saying that you used to smile more. "

She refrained to say that his smile looked a lot like the one she saw in the mirror this morning. He would probably react badly to that. And apparently, she had been right. The birds slowly seated next to her a little wary but calm. they shared a comfortable silence.Both lost in their thought.

The kid was clearly distraught and she hated that. Her opinion about the Dynamic Duo was mostly positive. While they insisted on putting her behind bars each time she didn't hate them per say. They were part of the fun, no point being a villain without someone trying to stop you (thought the fact that they always succeeded in doing so was frustrating). But there was a huge difference between not hating someone and helping them through an existential crisis, she was kinda at lost in what she should do. She was already far behind the line of their usual banter and she didn't know how close he would allow her .

Robin shivered. Really this kid needed a better costume and a hug. Not that Batman was the kind of person to provides any of them. But again neither did she.

"-You really think I'm becoming like him ? "the kid asked with a little voice.

He had turned to face her. If it was not for the heartless white lenses of his domino mask she was sure she would have met with world class puppies eyes. Even at his age -how old was he now? 14? 15?-he had never grown out of his adorable pleading face and at this point, it was unlikely that he ever will. Kid going to be a lady killer .

Should she answer the question? The truth might hurt him more and she was not fond of kicking puppies. On the other hand, he could surely be able to tell if she was lying.

"-You know I loved him." She settled for.

Robin did a double take and raised an eyebrow.

"not Batman! Pudding my pudding!"

the second eyebrow joined his twin.

She was already regretting starting that conversation.

"I loved him like I never thought I could love. Or at first, I was convinced it was love. You know he made me discover a new part of myself. He made me feel special, free. He opened a whole new world for me. He created a new home or something like that. I felt happy and needed. By my standard don't look at me like that".

She had to stop her for a second and take a breath. Here came the less pleasant part of the story. The one she could only admit when hers thought was clear enough like tonight.

"But you know Pudding is …. Pudding. Sometimes ….sometimes he makes me feel worthless. Like my only values is to be a perfect tool for his schemes."

And it was probably true but the kid didn't need to know that .

"Sometimes it gets hard to remain close to him and not lose myself"

She already did.

"It feels like I'm losing myself like I will become what he wants me to be. Maybe he already succeeded, maybe I'm just one of his pistol that says bang now. And when I see you it's like your old man has the same effect on you. "

The boy was frowning. Right maybe comparing Batman with his nemesis was not the brightest idea of the night.

"I'm not saying that Batman is an abusive asshole like Joker. Just don't let him hurt you because you care about him. And even more, if he loves you back. He will regret. "

Maybe pudding will…. No. impossible.

"Don't let him destroy you. It's not too late for you, I'm trapped but you can still fly away. "

He smiled shyly at her. Not the blinding toothy smile that he used to have but a smile nonetheless.

She thought that the smile would be the only response she would get (letting a villain have a one-sided conversation was a thing actually exchanging with them was another). But her little bird chuckled and said: "You know you can still escape after all you're still a decent doctor."

They shared another smile. They were both idiots that followed their heart too much for thy own good but they could still find a way to not burn their wings in some cruel relationship. She would try at least.

Suddenly as if he had reached his quota of emotions for the night the boy wonder stood up. She tensed not knowing where thing will go from here. Even with their little heart to heart, she was still one of Gotham rogue and him its protector. He couldn't let her walk free, even more, when Joker was also in the wild.

Dick was reluctant to capture Harley, she seemed honest about not knowing where Joker was. And he owned her one (maybe two with how her right eyes turned black)

"-I don't know where Joker is. I learned that he escaped this morning with the TV. Swear. I'm staying with Pam and she is not particularly fond of him."

She was not lying. He could tell. Harley didn't lie that often (the truth was often worse so …) She was not part of his investigation and if needed she had given away her current location (the number of places where Ivy was willing to stay was restricted).

He nodded and shoot his grappling line before disappearing. He had a job to finish.

He was not able to solve his case that night, or the one after. He took him one more week (and countless dead )to dissolve the traffic. And Joker didn't appear for another month. A month that Bruce spent essentially in the cave and Robin with the Titans.

Harley had been right, Bruce had saved his life in more way than one. Gave him a family, a home, a purpose. He gave him the means to be a great man. But Bruce shouldn't be the one to shape the future him. He was the only one who had that right no matter how much he owned to his guardian. He couldn't let him control his life. Bruce would never try to do that but that would happen anyway. He would always be a bat but The Bat? never.

The year after Joker shot him. Harley wasn't here, hadn't been for quite a times at this point. When Bruce fired him he took that as his clues to leave too. It was not the way he wanted to part and he hurt a lot at the time. But looking back it at been the right choice. It was time for him to find his own path.

And if, when a new hero started in Bludhaven the police registered various sightseeing of Harley Quinn in Gotham little sister, well…. it was only a coincidence.


End file.
